4.22.2011

The Tool

I met James in our singles ward. He seemed nice enough so when he asked me out, I said yes. After several dates I knew James was not the one for me. I told him this and he did not  take it well. After he stopped crying and being butt hurt he decided we could be friends. About 3 months later I needed a place to live and he had a room in his townhouse. He told me an amount for monthly rent that I felt wasn't quite fair to him, so I've paid him more then that each month, even after I lost my job and had zero income. We do our own thing and don't really see much of one another. Last week I had a friend coming to town from California for her cousin's wedding. James acted weird when I brought up her staying here. So I told Jaime she should probably find another place to stay, which I hated doing because I really wanted her to stay with me. She was able to arrange accommodations for every night except Thursday, her first night in town. After exhausting her options I told her to just crash with me that night. It was late so I didn't text James to let him know. Here is the drama(events and texts) that took place:


  James: "Did you invite your friend to stay in my house? I saw a car with California plates on the street."
  Me: "Yeah, I did. She needed a place for last night."
  James: "Quite disrespectful without my approval. But last night only, fine."


I didn't respond because I thought that was a total dick thing to say. The more I thought about it the less I wanted anything to do with him. So I "unfriended" him on Facebook.


  James: "Did you delete me from facebook? Your pic doesn't show up on my phone contacts list anymore."


No response.
A couple hours later...


  James: "Ok so you did delete me from facebook. Whether it was on purpse or not, I don't know. But if you're mad at me for not allowing jaime to stay at my home, then that's fine. It's my house, my rules. I have never let any of my friends stay the night, cuz I don't want them here... I wanted you to move in, cuz I knew your situation was crappy with that one chick. It's been fun having you here. But I'm not a pushover, and deleting me from facebook for this is(if it's the real reason) is rather pathetic. Again, if I'm mistaken, then I'm sorry. But I don't know why else you'd delete me. Anyway, I just didn't want another person in my home. It wasn't anything personal against you or jaime. With that being said, I'm not mad at you, just disappointed that you would go behind my back and not get my permission. I'm leaving to Illinois the first week of May. You can stay here for two more weeks, but I expect you and all your stuff to be moved out by May 2nd. You're still my friend. I hope we're still friends. But, if you are mad at me, so be it.  I'm not mad at you. And honestly, I do hope your new job is going well."


I didn't write back to him. I've had planned for well over 6 months that I would be moving in with a very close friend at the end of April/beginning of May. I told him this several times. I wasn't going to waste my time with an A-hole on a power trip. After making a comment on facebook about how excited I was to move out because my roommate was being a tool, I get this text from James...


  James: "Apparently I'm a 'tool'? That's nice of you to say. It's unbelievable  how you've blown this way out of proportion. I never did anything to you, but you go and delete me from facebook, so you can talk crap behind my back. I thought we were friends. But apparently you not getting your way, can change things in an instant. Oh well, I guess you can't please everyone."


I couldn't help but laugh out loud at how ridiculous he was being. Yes, I completely agree it was blown way out of proportion, but by whom? I wrote him a long email. I haven't sent it yet, but I'm sure I will. I just feel bad for the little guy. He probably thought I'd fall in love with him if I moved in... Now he has nothing better to do then to stalk me on facebook. Sad.
  

9 comments:

  1. I love it! I only wish you would have used our various nicknames for him rather than "James." Or just use The Tool throughout...the name James is too good for him!

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  2. Really? Seems like every James I've ever met was a total creeper/weirdo...
    Oh wait, that's your Dad's name, isn't it? Whoops!

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  3. uh...yeah...and Jaime...its practically James... dirty words!

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  4. I love how he thinks the only reason I deleted him from Facebook is so I could talk crap about him...

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  5. Some people take FB so seriously! My sis-in-law got pissed when I unfriended her after she was a total jerk to me (and turned her family against me). It's like the biggest insult to unfriend someone... really? It's just FB! I love you Eryn!

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  6. I want to make him my friend and then turn around an unfriend him. Hahaha....oh Facebook....

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  7. I know this is an old post but I randomly stumbled on this from Google and under the anonymity of the internet I'll go ahead and play devil's advocate. Sure, James' rule about friends is strange, but you moved into his place and didn't let him know she'd be there, essentially letting a stranger into his homespace while he was in a vulnerable state (sleeping). When he told you he was upset and didn't want it to happen in the future, you did this weird passive/aggressive "unfriending" then dismissed his slighted feelings. Then when he tried to salvage your friendship by talking to you, you label him a "tool". I have plenty of complaints about dating Mormon men myself, but why are men no longer to voice their opinions and feel uncomfortable or confront women when they feel wronged? Let's respect our men a bit more and think a little bit about their side of the story.

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